#1 The big move

Preface: I started writing this post over five weeks ago and as I let it sit and gained distance from it, I grew more and more self conscious about publishing it. This has been the theme of the last few years of my life – wanting to start things but always doubting, battling indecision, wanting things to be perfect, and ultimately never even getting whatever idea it was off the ground. I once had a blog from 2010 to 2017 and even though I knew my writing was nowhere near great, I had no hesitations about publishing my ramblings. With age has come a crippling self-awareness. Exasperating this feeling is that in my blog, I used photos and visuals as my main source of communication, and this Substack situation feels much more naked. Now, sitting on a long flight with temperamental wifi, here’s my attempt at following the mantra “done is better than perfect.”

LEAVING NEW YORK

“New York or Nowhere” was a phrase I had long championed and lived by, but I, along with my partner, recently made the active decision to leave and move to Philadelphia. The timing of the move is a bit shy of my fifteenth year anniversary of living in NYC (ten+ in Manhattan and four in Brooklyn, spread over exactly ten apartments). It was actually around last fall when we started to think that NYC wasn’t our be-all and end-all, but we finally followed through with it this past summer. What triggered the whole thought process was that there was a pretty cool Louis Kahn residential property near Philadelphia that had popped up on the market (a fairly rare occurrence!) and though we ultimately didn’t end up viewing it, it got the cogs in our brains wondering, “do we really need to live in NYC anymore?” Now, looking back on the decision, it felt like it came somewhat naturally and started to feel more “right” as the months went on. It was also largely a consequence of spending more time in Europe and traveling in general that helped us gain more perspective and shift our priorities. 

Why leave?

The short answer is to primarily get off the hamster wheel grind of living and working to live in NYC. I’ve been guilty of just hanging on and letting the momentum carry me, but ultimately I realized I was going in circles and ending up at the start line each time. I was experiencing anxiety more easily and frequently, and felt like I didn’t have the metaphorical space to think and explore new projects and opportunities (new businesses, even!). I wasn’t happy with my apartment in Williamsburg after the rent increased by 54% two years ago (a real gut punch right after we renovated the kitchen on our own dime, but that’s a story for another day), and the generally deteriorating condition of the rest of it. 

NYC will always be there and could be right for us in the future again. The city just didn’t feel like it was serving my needs and lifestyle in my now mid-late 30s (gulp) as it did in my 20s and early 30s. Our quality of life to cost of living ratio worsened over the past few years. Many of the things I loved pre-pandemic simply didn’t exist anymore. My favorite bars and restaurants long closed. 

Why Philadelphia?

Besides the convenience of being able to get back to NYC and its surrounding areas for studio work and on location shoots, Philly checked off a lot of other major boxes for us. Personally, I am not quite ready for the suburbs or the countryside. I want to be able to walk and get coffee or walk to the grocery store/dry cleaners, etc. Philly has incredible Asian food, a great international airport (for us begrudgingly loyal American Airlines flyers, it actually gives us more and better direct European flights - huge check mark!), is fairly diverse, and it is a decent running city. All of these were important to us. And there’s the added bonus of the cost of living being much less than in NYC, though I suppose that could likely be said about nearly every other US city. The fact that I did go to college in Philly many moons ago wasn’t a huge factor in the decision to move here.

Am I sad to leave?

The hardest thing to leave and the impossible thing to replicate in a new city is our NYC community and friends, the serendipitous run-ins in the neighborhood and beyond, the running flybys down Kent Ave, the ability to text and say, “wanna meet for a coffee in 10 mins?”, “happy hour tonight?”. I value and cherish those moments and know that NYC will always have that above any other place. 

Fast forward to today…

How’s the first month or so been so far?

We’ve been settling in and having a blast trying all the great restaurants near us. Life is more chill. The farmers market gave me reverse sticker shock. ($4 for a giant box of squash? Can you imagine?) We like our apartment and having a north west exposure. Seeing the sky is lovely. We still go to NYC easily (just don’t ever drive there on a Sunday evening). The airport is close. More to come on this when more time has passed!

What else is this Substack going to be about?

I honestly have no clue, but I do miss certain aspects of blogging and longer form content. I’m hoping to share more anecdotes and learnings from my time in NYC, including why I don’t believe owning an apartment there is “the dream”, and more on topics that interest me like design, style, and food. Just don’t expect perfection.