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On buying a whole house in Philadelphia, despite my many feelings about real estate

Plot twist: a whole house.

I’m wrapping up another leg of travels, this one on the calmer, longer-stay end, in London. And I have some Big News. Decisions about my never-ending existential questions have, at last, been made. Somehow, while I’m still questioning whether living in this country is the right move, my partner and I bought a house in Philadelphia. A whole house. With a yard. A lot of it. Every once in a while, we still look at each other like “what the hell did we just do?” We closed right before flying to London, spent a week DIY-ing some demo (more on that in a bit), and when we get back, the real work begins. I keep coming back to something a wise acquaintance said to me recently: this new version of me needs new challenges, and new challenges lead to new opportunities.

I could go into a whole spiel about how I don’t actually think buying a house is the epitome of the American Dream. Quite the opposite. Having owned two small apartments in Manhattan, I’d at one point sworn off buying ever again. I am very pro-renting, and even pro renovating rentals (within reason). That may sound crazy to some, but if I’m going to live somewhere, I want it to work for me and feel as aesthetically aligned with my taste as possible. I also don’t think real estate is unequivocally a good “investment.” I always joke (and cry) that if I’d taken the money I sank into the down payment and gut renovation of my Manhattan studio and put it in NVIDIA stock instead, I’d have somewhere around $40mm today. Fun to think about 🥴. Instead, I have great stories and a lifetime of lessons, which, arguably, are priceless. But after selling that studio with all the NYC closing costs, I’m pretty sure I didn’t break even. I lost money, opportunity costs aside.

Kitchen details in my gut-renovated studio apartment (I miss this beauty!)

I recently heard an argument for buying on Diary of a CEO, one of the many podcasts I cycle through. Most personal finance guys are pro-renting, but the guest said something that stuck with me: yes, you can put your money in the S&P and probably guarantee a better return than real estate, but you can’t “live inside an index fund.”

I’m not anti-buying, exactly. I’m anti-buying for investment purposes. If you happen to make a nice buck on the sale, great. But I know it’s no guarantee, especially with how high closing costs are for the seller. I am, however, very pro-buying for emotional or otherwise unquantifiable reasons.

Below: more house photos, and more on what I mean by these unquantifiable reasons.